Confession no.1: I’ve been Coco de Mer’ed

There are many things I should be thinking about right now; what will happen to us after Brexit? Am I saving enough for my pension? How should I deliver my almost impossible projects at work? No doubt the latter should be right at the top of my ‘to do’ list.

 

But here I am. Sitting with a glass of wine after a long day of work, talking to my beautiful, intelligent, driven, career focused, and all mighty girlfriends about… playing flutes.

 

So it happened that a couple of days ago I found myself at this workshop where Master Dominic proudly taught us, lucky ladies, how to play flutes i.e. how to deliver a mindboggling blow job.

 

I must admit I walked into this workshop after a shot of tequila and a glass of white wine so I couldn’t really feel uncomfortable even if I tried. Matters got better when I was given some prosecco as soon as I stepped into Coco de Mer shop (water was also on the menu but ‘surprisingly’ I opted for prosecco).

 

If you have never heard of Coco de Mer before – it is a very chic boutique in central London offering luxury lingerie and sex toys for ALL kind of ‘games’. When I say chic, I mean chic. Even anal beads look VOGUE in there.

 

Slightly tipsy and without the slightest sense of shame I did my walk of honor around the shop and chose a seat on definitely not the first row. I really thought (or feared) I was going to be presented with a dildo and asked to perform my not so mind boggling BJ. But thankfully I only had to sit back and listen to the very funny Master Dominic.

 

Blame it on Prosecco or all the beautiful lingerie around me but I cannot remember all of Dominic’s lecture. However, here are the most important pieces of wisdom I managed to glean that day:

Rule #1 Don’t do it if you don’t feel like it

There isn’t much I can add here… Games we play down there require passion and honest desire

Rule #2 Take it slow

Either start or finish with it. Too much of anything can kill excitement and same applies to BJs.

Rule #3 All routes lead to… flutes

Personally, this was complete news to me. Apparently, the way to make our partners really turned on is to make sure that the direction of any movement (strokes, kisses, bites, you name it) is towards the magic stick and never away from it. Tip: his sensitivity is almost next to none below his knees so save your love for his thighs and above.

Rule #4 Magic spot – Perineum

I really hope we all know this part of men’s’ bodies and if you don’t, please go home to your partner and find it! The perineum is the area between the scrotum and the anus and you should always give some attention to it. Don’t start attacking it straight away but rather wait until your loved one is really turned on. Then, use your fingers or your tongue to stroke or apply firm pressure to really intensify the sensation of your BJ.

Rule #5 THE MAGIC spot

Yes, we are talking about his anus. And I think I would need another glass of wine to talk about this in more detail but all I can say right now is; there is no need to go in. Just repeat what you did with his perineum and your man will be in heaven.

 

I must admit, I am yet to explore rule no.5 but I can also put my hand on my heart and say that, as simple as the other rules sound, they all brought my partner to the big O with ease. The only thing that was missing in Dominic’s lesson was having my girlfriends with me, so if you ever find yourself in the explorer’s mood, grab your friend and head to Coco de Mer.

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